Modernization
by oldtshirt
Summary: "Steve couldn't help but to stare at the store labeled "Victorias Secret" in horror. Boy had things changed." Follow Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America as he copes with the modern world.


A/N: Rated M for light sexual parts; cursing in later chapters.

I don't own the Avengers

Chapter 1: Cellphone

It was an understood fact that every SHIELD member had to carry a cellphone, no matter who you were. They didn't give you brand new IPhone 6s now (easy to hack anyways), but you would have one no matter what. It was security measures. Before the alien invasion with Loki, SHIELD was very paranoid, now they have passed that and moved onto a whole new level. There was procedures you had to go through, no matter if you were Captain America himself. The minor procedures were putting everyone's number in your phone, but even something as simple as that was like solving a rubiks cube to Steve Rogers aka Captain America. Sure, he was trapped in ice for give or take a few decades, but damn did the world progress; particularly America.

"Steve, that's speed dial. No, no, don't call that number!" the number he was fixing to call was Thor's, he was in the same situation as the norse god; stuck and irritated. Start wasn't making it better by snorting in the background.

"Why do we even need these things again?" Steve said, glaring at the innocent looking phone.

Maria Hill, the agent sent to help Steve set his phone up, sighed yet again. This was probably the fifth time he's asked. "Yet again Steve, we need all our agents connected in case an emergency breaks loose."

Steve just kept glaring at the phone. "Can't we use walkie talkies, or just anything other than this?"

Maria rubbed her head as Tony snorted yet again in the background. "Steve, through these phones we're able to send you all the details so in case there is an emergency, you know what you're heading into." As Steve opened his mouth, Maria cut him off. "We can't do that with walkie talkies."

"You know, I'm pretty sure they had some type of cell phone, even back in your day, Cap."

Steve glanced at Tony. "Unlike you, Stark, I don't spend my time with all this technology, I had things to do. Important things to do."

Tony raised his hands like he wasn't trying to start an argument. "There are important things you can do with technology such as-"

Seeing the two avengers fixing to fight, Maria cut them off, she didn't have enough nere for this. "Boys, boys, if you're not trying to help fix this problem, don't comment."

Seeing they were approaching an angry female if the two were to continue, they stopped their almost-argument.

The next two hours were spent in a heavy mood of aggravation as Maria went through the process of putting contacts, blocks from hacks, important files, and so on on Steve's phone. Every time Steve tried to do something, he would almost do something that would screw everything up, so Maria had to do everything.

Typing in a few more things, Maria let out a relieved sigh as she stopped typing away. "Your phone is officially done with, Steve." Seeing the relieved look in his eyes, Maria was a bit jealous, she had to go through a few more idiots who couldn't follow instructions (no offense Steve), before she would get relaxing time.

"But remember, this is strictly a work phone, you want to talk to females, go get your own phone." Steve blushed at that comment and watched the female agent walk away.

Steve was beating a punching bag to death when he felt a vibration go through him. It was weird, but he planned on ignoring it until it continued to vibrate. The sweaty male stopped his punches on the bag, and looked down at himself. The vibration was coming from his pocket.

Moving his hand down his pocket, he pulled out his worst enemy. A picture of Tony Stark (just kidding!). It was his phone. Staring at it, Steve tried to figure out what was wrong with it. It wouldn't stop vibrating. Pushing the buttons on the side, the phone came alive. There was a message across the screen; it read, "HELLO FELLOW SHIELD MEMBERS, THIS THOR, GOD OF THUNDER SPEAKING- I MEAN TEXTING YOU. I JUST WISH EVERYONE A GOOD LUCK WITH THEIR NEW PHONE, AND IF YOU SO WISH, I WOULDN'T MIND TALKING WITH YOU. HAPPY PHONING-THOR."

Steve just stared at his screen. Perhaps if he knew how to work it, he would be able to reply.

Steve was accompanying Tony, Thor, and Clint down a hallway when his phone let out a few jingles. Tony raised his eyebrows at this. "Ex-girlfriends?" Steve ignored him and looked at his phone. Since he got his phone, he was a bit more capable with it. He was now able to answer and respond to calls and messages. He was also able to tell apart a call and a message. A message vibrates, and a call lets out a jingle. So someone was calling him.

He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and looked at who was calling him; it was an unknown number. He was confused, but answered the call anyways. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby, this is Ashley. Looking for some fun? Hit me up at . Hope to see you there!"

Steve's face looked like a tomato by the time the person hung up. Tony and Clint were wiping tears from their eyes, and it was even worse when Thor put in, "What does the fair maiden Ashley mean by fun? Is she going to accompany you on a hunt?"

Steve stopped and turned around, he couldn't go on with them; it was too embarrassing.

Sitting on his bed, Steve was cleaning up his already clean room when he heard a jingle. By now, he knew that sound. He looked down and was immediately paranoid when he saw the unknown number. Since the last time he answered an unknown number, he was very hesitant to answer them, but if it was something important it would be rude to ignore it.

Answering the phone against his better judgement, Steve didn't know what to expect.

"Hello, is this Steve?" A female voice asked.

Steve was relieved that they knew his name, it must be someone he knew. "Yes, this is Steve."

He heard whispers in the background before the female replied. "Sweetheart, it's me, Jessica! Listen, baby, I have important news... I'm pregnant." Steve was able to hear giggles in the background, but his face still flushed pink.

"Um, I think you have the wrong Steve, miss."

"No, this is Steve Rogers right? Don't you remember me? You said you would never forget me!"

"Miss, there are plenty of other Ste-" As he was trying to deny it, the woman hung up on him.

He just stared at his phone. It was evil.

Coming back from a meeting, Steve was walking with Tony and Clit. He knew something was up by the way they were glancing at him. He wasn't prepared for what they said.

"So Steve," Clint started, "Talk to any Jessicas lately?" Tony finished.

Steve was confused but a moment later his eyes were wide.

Seeing his expression, the two avengers started smirking. Pregnant prank calls were a classic.


End file.
